I’ve had a BAH HUMBUG! attitude about holiday shopping ever since I worked in a retail department store after my first semester at the University of Connecticut.
I don’t blame people for being grumpy. I don’t like to be bullied, either. Product-pushers demanding my cheer and joy while shoving gadgets at me makes me feel a level of anger beyond words. Friends and relatives demanding cheer are enough to make me scream.
In the last couple of weeks I have watched helplessly as two long-time friends battle mental health problems. As we head into this dreaded season of short days, long nights, and wind-driven precipitation, their challenges mount.
It’s a struggle not to get sucked into the vortex of anger, blame and all the other fear-based emotions. It’s even harder when fear-based media messages add fuel to the fire.
Emotions can travel through a room, a group or an organization. If you
are stressed, then you send that energy out wherever you go. If you can
harness that stress energy and send out peace, then you may not change
the world, but at least you do no harm.
Here’s my plan for keeping my sanity. I hope some of this works for you.
1. Turn off the TV. Right now. As soon as possible. It took me a few weeks to figure this out, but my TV is off. The absence of a barrage of people yelling at me to buy cars, toys, and toilet paper is one step toward peace. Anything I’m likely to want to watch on TV is on hiatus until next year. By then, I’ll have broken the habit.
2. Establish alone time. Get up early, stay up late, go to the library - but get away from environments where you are expected to interact with people. I’m not parenting, I’m itinerant at the moment and my family is far away. This helps. But even if you are a true people person and hate being alone, you need a bit of time to reflect and renew your energy. You cannot help anyone else if you are emotionally or spiritually spent. It can be as little as 30-minutes a day, but returns you reap from this investment are worth it.
3. Move your body. Even if you run up and down your stairs a couple of times - that counts. What starts happening is your body is moving rhythmically and you start to breathe. I’m always reminded of my first cantering lesson, back when I was learning to ride horses. As I flew around the ring, I heard my instructor shout Breathe! I’m sure she meant me, not the horse. I’m horseless these days, but now that it’s getting colder out, I use my power-hike trail. I can cover five miles in an hour and forty minutes (two hours if I’m hiking at night.) By the end of that hike, I’m relaxed, energetic and confident.
3. Listen to music that you enjoy. Right now, I cannot get enough of The Beatles, Ray Stephens or early Little Feat. I sing along and that helps steady my breathing. I’m choosing music with positive, hopeful messages. I could be listening to Mozart or Handel, but my little trip down memory lane is restorative.
4. Create or revive a ritual. I lit a prayer candle at the new moon. I also find five things to be grateful for every day. Having something to do or say helps shift your focus from problem to possibility.
5. Don’t take it personally. People who know you well know where to push your buttons. It’s not what happens to you, it’s how you deal with it. We are responsible for our feelings. Blame is not going to help anyone. I’ve been in the path of two people who are suffering. In both cases they have taken their rage out on me. This is not about logic. If you have the capacity to take these hits and keep your cool, you have a rare talent. Don’t forget to detox - do something you enjoy to restore your spirit.
Each of us has our own limits. I have to get away from the relentless ranting. Some people need the solace of others. The goal is to restore your spent energy, regain your sense of confidence and competence, and function in a productive way. How you do it is up to you.
Modern society does not put a high value on nature. That’s too bad. The sound of a babbling brook, rustling leaves, a blue jay’s alarm cry - these are timeless and completely outside the commercial push-push-push of our culture.
I really do wish for peace on earth. I wish everyone had the time, the health, the strength and the access to a beautiful natural habitat.