I cannot move at a 21st Century pace. I was happier in the 20th Century when I could process the information presented to me.
This year’s shriveled, dull-colored leaves and lack of mushrooms makes it a challenge for me to revel in autumnal joy. Add the pressure of reorganizing my seasonal schedule in the face of laptop and Toyota computer resistance - and I end up in a catatonic shutdown.
The tap on my car window and the concerned look on a fellow hiker’s face was a clue. I’d fallen asleep at the wheel after a hike. If I had started the engine, the check engine light would have prevented my momentary repose.
Comedy, especially word play, helps when nature’s glory fails to soothe me. So I was delighted to receive an email from my friend Iris sharing the winning entries from the Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational. Here are a few that me laugh out loud:
In the alternate meanings for common words category:
- Abdicate, v. to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
- Balderdash, n. a rapidly receding hairline.
- Coffee, n. the person upon whom one coughs.
- Esplanade, v. to attempt an explanation while drunk.
- Flatulence, n. emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
- Oyster, n. a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
- Pokemon, n. a Rastafarian proctologist.
- Testicle, n. a humorous question on an exam.
- Willy-nilly, adj. impotent.
In the alternate words category:
- Bozone: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
- Cashtration: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
- Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
- Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
- Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
- Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
- Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
I love the word play. Without laughter we cannot function.
Comment by Carma Dutra — November 5, 2007 @ 1:56 am
lol, let’s not forget “flabbergasted” (aghast at the extra flabber one has gained)
I love your pen name, Writer By Nature. Very cute
xx
Anita
Comment by iGoddess — November 5, 2007 @ 5:34 am
Yes, I have to say as I wander aimlessly into the autumn of my own life I have to agree that I don’t enjoy them as much as I did when I was too young to appreciate them.
Loved all the word play entries. Reminded me of Douglas Adams’, The Meaning of Liff: http://www.lib.ru/ADAMS/liff.txt
Comment by Jim Murdoch — November 5, 2007 @ 9:36 am
Wonderful name, categories, and servces you offer…I agree about the pace of modern life and the pace of information. If you’d ever like to do a guestpost on this topic for my blog Riehlife…and how you balance that pace with your contact with and communion with nature, I’d welcome that. BTW, do you know Susan Tweit? She has a lovely blog you’d enjoy.
Janet
http://www.riehlife.com
Comment by Janet Riehl — November 5, 2007 @ 11:46 am
Hey, we all eventually slow down. (-; And it’s not always a bad things. Having said that, I can go a mile a minute if I’m doing what I love. And publishing! How I love it.
Thanks for the fun column, Janet.
Best,
Carolyn Howard-Johnson
http://www.howtodoitfrugally.com
Comment by Carolyn Howard-Johnson — November 5, 2007 @ 6:03 pm
I so agree about the pace of modern life. It is just too fast for me. Many days I crave a simple life without all the “stuff.” My dogs always center me and bring me back into balance when I feel frazzled. Also walking them in nature does that too.
I will be back to explore your blog more. It looks very fascinating… and most likely will help me to slow down when I feel myself being frenzied by the world again.
Barb
http://www.joyfulpaws.com
Comment by Barb — November 5, 2007 @ 6:57 pm
Love your blog, JJ. I love your organization by interest, and how your posts are short, inviting people to read more if they are interested. Bravo! Blessings, Olivia
Comment by Olivia — November 5, 2007 @ 7:16 pm